He hardly ever really listens to what I say. I never quite know what or how he’s feeling. I wish he would get over himself and stop the macho man routine. Why does he always assume that a simple cuddle will lead to sex?
He can be such a goof and its worse when he’s with his buddies I hate it especially when he tries to hide that he’s checking out another girl. He rarely ever compliments me on my hair or new clothes. Every time I bring up the whole commitment thing he tries to change the subject. If he wants to live with a “mom” he should move back in with her. So what?! I make more money, that’s good, right?
If only we really knew what went on in that mind and heart of his. Perhaps then we could bridge the gap and start making some progress. Here are a few insights on what he’s thinking, and why.
Hopefully by examining these we can uncover how men really feel about women. Here we go:
- SEX It’s no secret men think about and obsess over that 3 letter word 24 hours a day! His view of your role in it can determine how in the back of his mind, he will evaluate your relationship. Give it up right away and he may see you as a non-committal sex pal and not a potential long term girlfriend. How he feels about you will also depend upon what his personal values are in regards to sex. Remember: A lot of men don’t need the emotional attachment to sex like a lot of women, so don’t be shocked if you want to talk after sex and he wants to sleep.
- EGO It wouldn’t be fair to view it in a negative way. Understand that ego is what drives him, although it drives you crazy! He will be unable to give you the things you want unless he feels you believe he can. His competitive spirit drives him to better himself, and fuels his fight to maintain what’s his. That includes you. What we’re really saying is when he beats his chest, gets jealous, or has to prove his man hood. He needs you to validate his ability to care for you.
- GROW UP “it’s just a game!” you exclaim. He’ll either ignore you with a yes dear, or try to explain to you that’s this is the state championship and our team is down by 8 with 2 minutes on the clock. How men really feel about women: Take him seriously! Smile and except that the’ ego thing’ makes him competitive even when he’s at play. Just accept him for the BIG little boy he is.
- ATTENTION Because of our different communication styles, it’s a challenge to understand one another at times. He may ask how your day was. You remember how stressful it was, and begin expressing those emotions as you share your explanation. He interprets that as: you are mad at him. He gets his back up, and you feel like he doesn’t care. By all means express your feelings but make your intentions and your reasons for your feelings clear, he will better relate. A girl’s emotional state can affect how men really feel about women.
- PROBLEM SOLVER Suppose you would like to discuss what dress to wear at the New Years bash. When you invite his opinion, he says that as long as you are wearing a dress that’s fine with him. Wrong answer, you think. Doesn’t he even care? Yes he does. Keep in mind that men are wired for solving problems quickly and efficiently. He may also be of the attitude that you have great style, and know what’s best, fearing to choose the “wrong one” he would face your disapproval.
With these little insights into the brain of our male counterpart, we hope you benefit, by knowing, understanding how men really feel about women and succeed in your challenge to ‘get him’